Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
