you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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