so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
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I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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