Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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