Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
