i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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