1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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