he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
