Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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