I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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