I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
