there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
