oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
