omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
