Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
