the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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