but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
