And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
