I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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