hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
