Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
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i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
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He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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