I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
are you so shy because you have an std?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
