god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
