And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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