Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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