I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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