Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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