He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
