you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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