This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
