Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
