This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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