And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I had to cum in my sink.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
