party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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