why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
