the new term for farting is butt boxing.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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