in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
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She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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