i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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