too bad you live with your parents still
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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