dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
