Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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