I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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