i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
