Midget sex pt 2 tonight
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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