Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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