her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
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As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
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The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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