Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.