the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
