hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
