i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
