I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize