forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
40s are totally the cure
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
