Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my being single is dangerous.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
