I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
well you can't waste a boner
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
false alarm, still single
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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