we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
