So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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