I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
