I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize